30 September

From "The Celtic Spirit, Daily Meditations for the Turning Year" by Caitlin Matthews

She's talking about how scavengers such as ravens help to keep our world clean.

".....We can learn from the action of the scavenger by applying its principles to our own lives. If we think for one moment about what our world would look like without decay we shudder. The same work of decay needs to be applied to ourselfves. Withough periodic clearing out and rooting up of old concepts, ideas and burdens, our being would soon become as noisome as many bloated carcass by the highway. When we investigate what is hindering our spiritual path, we often find that it is something we have been holding onto, rather than any external circumstance."

Exercise - "What is hindering you? What needs to go away? Meditate upon this and write down one major burden or worn-out notion that is obstucting your progress. Go outside and burn the paper on which you wrote, letting go of your burden as the ashes fly free on the wind."

Strange, I was just thinking of this this morning, names that I carry with me, beliefs, not to mention just STUFF. I just started clearing and tossing things last night, knowing that I have so much more to do. Out with the old.... and so on.

Another contest gone by

Well, didn't place in the latest contest I entered. Oh well. Such is life. I have one more contest I'm waiting to hear on, plus still haven't heard back from Woman's World on my latest submission. I really have to get going and get more submitted. I have one that I need to edit and send, plus a few more I can send out to WW.

What a chilly morning! Have to go thaw out my toes. Very bracing!! yah riiiight.

Another autumn day in Our Town 

Autumn in Our Town 

Now here's one of the reasons I love New Hampshire 

Its Raining Its Pouring....

It rained yesterday and its raining today. Oh well, I guess we should count ourselves lucky that we didn't get hit by a hurricane. Another thing that I love about New England. The winters may suck at times, but we rarely get a tornado, and if we do they're pretty weenie, we rarely get hurricanes, the last one I recall being in was Bob back in the early 90's, we rarely have droughts or horrid wildfires, last earthquake that came through wouldn't have been enough to wake up the lightest sleeper. Sometimes we get flooding enough to wash out roads, but nothing like I've seen in other areas. So, what does that leave? Sucky bitter cold winters? Buffalo NY I'm sure is worse.

And we're settling into the most gorgeous time of the year. The leaves are just starting to turn and the rest of the week is going to be cool. Ahhhhh.....

The only thing about this time of year that I don't like (besides the fact that its too short) is all the stinkin FUNDRAISERS!! My kids have brought home 3 book orders, two of the same fundraisers for school and now Ive got another one for Girl Scouts. Oy... And of course we just had to deal with school portraits. I'm spending money before I make it!! Time to get back onto Ebay and start selling again. After all, Christmas is coming and thats the Most Expensive Time of the Year.

Okay, time to wake my daughter up. My time of rest has come to an end. *sigh*

Just not my day

My brain is mush. I can't write a thing except some simple edits of a short story. But for the wips that really count.. nothing. :(

I hate times like this. I should just turn my attention to something else, like some revisions on Sweet Forever, but to be honest, I don't know if that will even do it for me. Thats the one thing about this time of the year. I tend to go into a funk. :(

So, I'll sign off and go watch somethign mindless on television and hope for some inspiration for tomorrow.

Archangel Gabriel 

It never lasts long enough

My absolute favorite time of year is just around the corner. I love autumn so much. The weather is perfect, the leaves on the trees are spectacular, there's no annoying bugs to keep us either bathed in bug dope or behind locked doors.

Nothing is better than the smell of the air in the fall, the combination of wood smoke and apples. I love going to harvest fairs and pumpkin festivals (go Keene NH-no one has ever broken their record for the most lit jack-o-lanterns in one place). On a windy day you can see an array of orange, yellow and red leaves falling of trees and drifting to the ground like a colorful snow storm.

But its so short lived. Seems to last only for a few weeks before we're plunged into 4+ months of winter. Even winter is beautiful. Just wish it could be as short as fall, and fall could be as long as winter.

I won't complain, though. At least I get to enjoy it for a little while. And if it lasted months on end maybe it wouldn't be as special to me.

New Hampshire covered bridge 

Fall in New England 

Owie

Been typing for the past 3 hours. My wrists hurt. I guess that means its time to stop. *grumble*

There was once a time when I'd have a buddy or two to chat with, but lately they've been in the land of the missing. Is it something I said??

One more saturday of work then I hope to get a break. Purty please??? I would KILL for the chance to sleep late!! Just one morning without having to get up for work or get up to do laundry.

Is that too much to ask?

Guess so.

The One in Purple

My children, who have developed a love of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have decided I'm the turtle who wears the purple. Why, I don't know.

Okay, so the "long" weekend is over. Time to go back to work and hope that the phones aren't too busy. I know, busy phones are job security. Its just hard to deal with them after a long weekend.

The weekend was okay. Worked Saturday. Sunday at my in-laws and Monday just hangin at home. Got some writing done, 5 pages or so on Going Going Gone. Have to get going on TSW rewrites though.

No deep thoughts here today.

Ohhhh

Red really isn't a good color for this blog.

Who do I think I am??

Nora Roberts???? Yeh, in my wildest dreams. I'm just struggling with questions on the wip I've dug up. Either go boldly forward despite the jumping around with povs, as long as they're smooth. After all its been done before, of course by authors who've been published before. They're allowed to break the rules that we newbies can't. OR I can rewrite and fix all the pov switches.

I'm sure my buddies are sick of me asking. SO SORRY LADIES! The end advice has basically been JWTFB (Just Write The F***ing Book).

But who would I be if I wasn't constantly second guessing myself?

Well, okeydokey. Time to get ready for work. Yipee. Love Saturdays at the office. I hope that everyone will be out doing Labor Day things and will think we're closed. I'd rather have a quiet day than one that is wall to wall phone calls.

HAPPY LABOR DAY WEEKEND TO ALL!!!!

And everyone in the way of Frances, my thoughts are with you.

Strange dream

Okay, this was a strange one, but short. I had to go deep sea fishing, I really didn't want to go, but we were fishing whales. I wasn't dressed properly, it was cold and wet and the boat was so crowded with people with huge fishing poles (guess you'd need a big one to catch a whale). I had friends cheering me on and someone told me that if I paint a symbol on my forehead I'd catch a whale. It was supposed to be a star, but it lookied more like a flower. A bright yellow flower. I cast my line and within seconds I had a whale, like a trout, on my line. I was the only one who caught one. I think I threw it back though. I don't remember that. I woke up.

So, who knows what that meant. Maybe its a good sign and it means that I'm going to land a big sale and I should get RAH out in the mail.

Okay, I'm going through a crisis right now. What's a person to do when they WANT to believe in something but it goes against so many things that they've believed for most of their life? Things that you don't want to give up? Its so confusing. I've changed a lot of longheld beliefs, but there are some that I just won't let go of. Ones that conflict with the things that I really would like to believe.

Yah, I doubt that made any sense. Sorry. :)

Its the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

The day that every mother has circled on her calendar in red. Maybe there's hearts on it too. Or fireworks? THE DAY THE KIDS GO BACK TO SCHOOL!!!

Yes, its finally here. My first is off at just before 6am. Then the second is picked up at about 8:30. But they've been looking forward to it too.

Well, my sister and brother are in for a visit starting today. I love my siblings (yes, I really do), but I sure do get an inferiority complex around them. Okay, the scoop. My sister (I'm the baby btw) lives out in Idaho, on the Wyoming border. She has spent the last oh, say 10-12 years fighting forest fires. Most of those years as a smokejumper-one of those crazies who jump out of planes into the fires. Now she's slowed down. She either leads teams in on foot or she investigates fires and she also gives talks at schools with her Smoky The Bear stuff. How cool is this? The smoke jumping part, that is? A few years ago there was a special on 9/11, about 2 film makers who were following some members of a FDNY firehouse with a camera and they happened to be on hand and get on tape the attack on the WTCs. Well, during the show instead of commercial breaks they showed photos of emts, firefighters, police etc all around the country. My sister had her picture displayed, just her by herself. I couldn't be prouder of anyone if I tried.

Okay, then there's my brother. He's always known exactly what he's wanted to do. Be an airline pilot. He spent 12 years in the Air Force, including Desert Storm where he flew fuel tankers, and now he's a pilot with American Airlines. He's very career oriented, very stable, and he's got it together in a way that I envy! I don't think he's ever screwed up.

Then there's me. Still struggling with what I want to be "when I grow up" Okay, I've always wanted to be a writer and I'm working towards that, but it took me a hell of a long time to get there.... my finances are in a constant mess, living from paycheck to paycheck... barely... I have wonderful kids and I love my family dearly but they drive me bonkers sometimes. There are times when I just want to be a hermit. And, I'm nearly 40 years old and I'm working as a customer service rep... the lowest of the low in many eyes.

Yeah, yeah, I know... I'm not being fair to myself. I'd just like to have ONE major accomplishment in my life (not including my 3 gorgeous kids), would like to have ONE story published so people can say, "wow! she's going to make it!"

Pity Party is now over.... everyone go home! :)